Tom Squared

I put this together as an opening for my final Midrash research paper.  I still haven't decided if it's staying in, since it sure doesn't read like a research paper.  But it was fun...  so I'll probably leave it :) *** John walks up to the podium and faces ten thousand people. He lightly taps on the microphone, making sure it’s still on, causing a loud echo to reverberate throughout the auditorium. A few people wince, others laugh but most sit in impatience waiting for this man to get on with it. They came to hear a good story, not a bumbling presenter. John proceeds to recite, word for word, the story of Sarah sending away Hagar and the angel who convinced Hagar to return. The eyelids in the audience begin to droop. It’s been a long day and this evening recitation doesn’t help to keep people engaged. If only there were fewer “thees” and “thous” they could at least understand the story. Besides, everyone has heard this sto...

I've recently reconnected with a bunch of different friends from high school through Facebook and been checking out their pictures to see how much they've changed.  I've continued to stay in contact with friends from college, but I also continue to be surprised when I see their pictures.  All I can think of is, man they're getting old.  Sadly, in many cases, they seem to be the worse for wear. Then. . . I look in the mirror. We keep the perfect picture of someone as they were when we knew them years ago.  Actually, we glorify them so much that in our mind they look even better than they really did.  Then when we look in their faces years later we recognize that our memory was just as flawed as theirs was. Yes. . . I'm not aging all that gracefully either. So, what's the point of all this?  I'm old and I'm happy with that.  The more I look at my hands I see the veins popping out.  I remember loving to push on my dads veins and see what w...

I'm coming up on 10 years supporting the same company.  There are a couple of things which happen when you have you ten year anniversary.  First, and least important, I should get a plaque.  I also get a whole lot more vacation time each year (over a month) which is great.  The problem I'm having though is the third thing I get, $500. Initially I'd understood Erin had laid claim to the money, so everything was good.  Last night I found out I get to actually spend the money however I want.  That leads to the obvious question, how do I spend the money (I have to boost the economy, right)?  Here are a couple ideas I have: Put it down for the deposit of an Aptera .  I like this idea, but don't really need a new car.  Erin said no, but what she doesn't know won't hurt her. Put it toward credit cards.  Not very exciting, but certainly more responsible. Buy a pair of PoweriZer Flying Jumpers .  Again, Erin said no to this o...

I came across this All 120 Crayon Names, Color Names and Fun Facts and fell in love with it.  I especially appreciate the hex colors since they can be used in Web design.  And, if it's a crayon color, you know it must be a good one (except maybe Spring Green ). Personally, I love Outer Space . It's great that Outer Space isn't actually black. In any case, check it out.  See how many names you recognize.  Personally, I can't say I've ever seen Fuzzy Wuzzy Brown , and I sure don't think it looks very brown. Peace, +Tom

I was just thinking about bone-in pork chops (I love pork chops, since I was allergic to everything but pork I ate well).  Those saws which cut through bone and meat at meat processing plants (or even the grocery store) must be incredibly sharp and strong. I'd be willing to bet they don't really encounter nay resistance cutting through a cow bone, and since cows are so big, they must have strong bones, right? That got me pondering. . . If you worked in a meat processing plant would it be easy to dispose of a body?  Seriously, just do the deed then throw him (or her) under the saw a few times and it's be easy to scatter the evidence, right? Now, me entire knowledge of meat processing plants comes from The Simpsons and Robin Cook's Toxin , so I'm clearly no expert. But you can't help but wonder. . .  What if? All I know is that I'll be respecting my grocery store butcher more now. Peace, +Tom

I came across this iPhone Unpacking slide show .  man I wish I'd thought of this for my Dash.  It's worth checking out. It's incredibly creative, and makes me wonder how we can all be more creative. Peace, +Tom

Reading Rob's recent post on his pet skunk Cyranose I began thinking about my own favorite undomesticated pet.  When I was in 5th grade our teacher lived on a farm.  This was extra appropriate because my school, Burgundy Farm Country Day School , was a working farm as well (this is cool, they have their own Wikipedia page ).  Because of her love of animals we had a couple of our own throughout the year. We got to raise a pig that had been born on her farm.  We had bunnies (when they had a litter I remember guying one for $5.  Nibbles was a great pet rabbit for years).  We had snakes, two great black snakes we got to feet mice each week.  We had mice which happily bred and got fed. . . to the snakes.  We had two rats as well.  This class, more than any, taught me that animals aren't to be feared, take responsibility and care, and that almost any animal can be a pet.  I continue to have a hard time understanding people who think any...