Tom Squared

One of the requests the teens heading off to college was that more than anything they'd like letters.  They want simple notes in their snail mailbox reminding them that people are thinking about them.  So, I figured I'd put something together for those which I have addresses. Here's the problem though.  With Facebook, blogs, blog comments and bi-weekly phone calls, they all know everything that's going on in my life and  I generally know what they're up to as well. So, what do you write about to someone you already contact semi-regularly? When I was in high school a girlfriend of mine went off to camp for most of the Summer.  We wrote letters every few days to each-other.  I keep wondering what in the world we talked about.  Couldn't have been anything incredibly deep, right? So, I'm thinking it's time to remember what it was like to be in high school.  Chat about the minutia of life and any little thing that pops into my head. Oddly, after w...

I was reading the blog of my friend David about Direct Deposit Tithing .  He commented on the prevalence of churches allowing people to auto pay the money to the church (tithe) instead of making them bring a check or cash in an envelope. Before his posts on this I also came across an article about how some churches are installing ATM like machines in the lobby to make giving easier.  That horrified me at first, now I just find it kind of disgusting and annoying. In any case, at St. Matthew's our contemporary service doesn't take a collection.  Instead we do simply leave an offering plate at the back of the church.  We have also considered a way to directly withdraw from someone's account, though the companies we've seen add on some fees which don't really make much sense.  In many cases people who prefer to pay electronically have their banks automatically send a check. As a family we still drop a check in the plate after church.  At the same time though...

In my years at work I have given feedback on many, many different people during their annual assessments (reviews).  I've performed assessments myself and simply given feedback on someone I've worked with.  If I had any one piece of advice for someone giving feedback on a person it would be this: Give me an example For every feedback item I try and give at least one concrete example. A general statement such as, "He leads a team well, but could be better at giving out task assignments" is ok.  But a better statement is, "He leads a team well, but could be better at giving out task assignments.  When I was working with him on XYZ he gave a great picture of what was necessary for the client to consider success.  At the same time I had to go to him and ask what I should be doing or give him suggestions on work I should do based on my understanding of the deliverable." Even if I miss 2 things that the person should improve on, having one concrete example gi...

I came across this proposal video today.  Give it a look, it's worth the 4 minutes (and I hate watching videos from blog posts). I'm incredibly impressed with his commitment to making the most creative, memorable and appropriate wedding proposal.  Looking at the time frames this took weeks.  I thought about my proposal for months, but when all was said and done I think I only really committed a couple of days to making it happen. More than anything though I'm impressed with the thought and perspective needed to make this a reality.  When you look from almost any angle you see something like this: But when you look straight on you see: Sometimes turning around changes everything. Peace, +Tom

No sooner did I begin crafting this post about Bullied student tickled pink by schoolmates' T-shirt campaign than my friend Mark Riddle mentioned it.  Stupid people stealing my thoughts. Thankfully what strikes me is different from what struck Mark. The story is essentially about a kid w ho got bullied for wearing a pink shirt the first day of school.  Two other seniors somehow found out about it and bought 50 pink shirts (tank tops included) to wear to school the next day.  Then they e-mailed their friends to let them know. The next day almost the entire school is in pink.  Either from shirts they bought or some wearing their own pink clothes (from shirts down to shoes).  The principal said: "Definitely it looked like there was a big weight lifted off his shoulders. He went from looking right depressed to being as happy as can be," said Shepherd. It's a heartwarming story and certainly gives you the warm fuzzies.  Here's what really struck me though...

I'm currently taking a class at the local seminary about how to teach.  Our teacher made the following comment. The more a child feels comfortable with the teacher, the more they are going to act out. I guess that's why the older Rachel gets the more she talks back to me. Seriously though, while I'd never heard this before it makes a ton of sense. As I got closer to the teens in youth group, they really began to feel comfortable with me and each-other.  As the new teens come in they are incredibly attentive.  Over time they too sometimes stray off into their own conversations. A lot of this comes from individual maturity.  The older these guys get the more willing they are to sit still and let each-other talk. In any case it has some real repercussions, since I tend to try to connect at a personal level with people.  How do you keep that connection while also commanding respect? I guess that's a question for next class. Peace, +Tom

Ever since I started taking classes at VTS (the seminary in the area), I've been joking that I get more random e-mail requests than I've ever seen.  Here's one that came last night. I need lots and lots of apple seeds (about 200 in all) for a Christian ed project that will be coming due in a couple of weeks. If you are an apple eater and can save a few seeds for me I would be very, very grateful.   As much as these requests are kind of random, all of them make me smile.  They all make very clear that I'm now part of a deeply knit community which cares for each-other. More than apple seed requests, I've also gotten impromptu Ultimate Frisbee and football games on the quad that afternoon.  There are also requests for rides some place, parties or even personal updates when a family member of a student or teach is sick or passes away.  All of these requests go to everyone in the school, from the new student up to the administration. While it can sometimes be...

I was talking to one of our teens whose recently gone off to college.  He asked how the current youth program was going and made the following comment: I'll be interested to see how its going when I get back, it seems like a very evolutionary process currently. He's right, it's incredibly evolutionary.  That got me thinking about life in general.  I essentially responded that these evolutionary processes are life. It's all just one messed up thing after anther finally leads us to...  another messed up thing that more people like...  Which just goes on and on and on.  Eventually though, some day, you make one person happy or get one person to find Christ, and then it's all good. So, enjoy this messed up moment of your life.  Eventually it will be long gone, replaced by some other messed up moment.  All leading you to your final life goal...  as messed up as it may be. Peace, +Tom

I was putting some dirty dishes into the dish washer this evening and all I could think to myself while I was doing it was "I hope the few dishes in the washer now are dirty."  Because if they were clean then Erin would come home and ask "Why did you put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher?" with that gently curious, yet slightly accusatory tone.  You know, the one which says, "What were you thinking‽" While I was thinking about this I also realized just how easy it is to question yourself into stagnation.  I could easily have thrown up my hands and decided to just leave the dishes alone.  I'll ask Erin later or, better yet, simply let her take care of it. I'm finding that people are so worried about offending someone that they quickly decide not to do anything.  Instead of telling Erin that she's irritated me (this is simply an example, she hasn't ever irritated me of course) I would let it go and ignore the problem.  Of course, it will...

Right now our family and a friends' family are on the road to  New Hampshire.  While we were leaving lunch I hard this great story. While in the bathroom one woman noticed another one with a breast pump, frustratingly trying to find an outlet to plug into.  For those without kids, a breast pump is this odd contraption women strap to their chests to understand what a milk cow feels like.  The hard part is that if a nursing mother doesn't feed their child or use their pump things get, shall we say, clogged up.  So husbands need to happily provide a way for our wives to pump every two or three hours so we avoid avoid pain and suffering.  Thankfully you can buy plugs for both the wall and the car, for use during long trips. Turns out the woman in the restroom either lost or didn't have a car plug for her pump.  This other woman saw the pump and quickly understood the issue. What's pretty neat about the story though is that the woman over...