Tom Squared

I just got the following e-mail form one of the teens who left youth group a couple years ago because their family moved.  She said this: I bet you don't even remember me. Since getting in loads of trouble a few years back, I have made a complete turnaround.  I graduated from high school near the top of my class, and am now on a scholarship to the University of Florida. I wanted to tell you how much of an influence you have made on me, you sorta inspired me to pursue my nursing degree. I am working now part time for goodwill, and I have a 4.0 gpa in college.   Well thanks for everything, and I hope to hear from you soon. Interestingly, I remember this girl very well, but I never had a whole lot of interaction with her beyond youth group meetings.  Even at those meetings we never had many chances to talk one-on-one, but I've always been nervous about how her life is heading.  To know that my life has made this kind of impact, even indirectly, is...

Merry Christmas to all.  I hope it's a holiday filled with love. Peace, +Tom Photo by Rachel and Tom

Rachel, Colin, daddy and mommy were in daddy's van driving to school.  While they were driving down the road Rachel chatted with Colin while he looked out the window as the world passed by.  Rachel started looking out of her own window to see what was so interesting. While she was looking out the window Rachel saw something white fly past the car.  She kept looking and the white streak slowed down and came right up along side the car. "Look mommy, an angel!" Rachel called out. As soon as she called out, the car began to lift off of the ground. Daddy looked out the window and saw that there were four angels, one for each of them in the car.  Each person had their own angel.  One was holding the car beside Rachel, another holding the car beside Colin.  There was another one holding up the front of the car and another holding the back.  The angel's wings beat powerfully in the air as the van rose higher and higher into the sky. They c...

I came across this video looking for loops for our Christmas pageant.  The video is great, and worth watching through.  I have to be impressed that while they sell the video to show in church, they've also made it open for anyone to view on YouTube.  Seems like a great idea to get the video seen by as many people as possible and encourage you to buy it to share. Peace, +Tom

I've been reading Marcus Buckingham's Now Discover Your Strengths book and preparing for a bible study on it in January.  One of the key points here is to find your innate talents, those things you're really good at, and grow them. I'm in the middle of a chapter where he's talking about some ways to identify your talents.  From yearnings you've had all your life to rapid learning where some switch flips and you recognize your talent to satisfaction where you recognize your talent as something you are satisfied doing.  While purchasing the book gives you access to the strengths finder quiz to help you identify your talents and strengths, something clicked in my head to help recognize some of those yearnings and satisfactions, what answers do you gravitate toward? A month or so ago I joined answers.yahoo.com and askville.amazon.com .  They are both sites where you and pose a question for the community to answer.  I personally prefer Yahoo Answers right n...

While surfing Flickr for the photo in my previous post, I came across some others which I can't help but share.  The first is this one on the right of Jesus, the caption, "Jesus shopping for a nail puller..."  Come on, that has got to make you smile.  there are some other interesting photos by Professional Recreationalist worth checking out. Then I came across this next image. With the title " I Hurt Myself Today ." Poking around a little more I came across this picture, which is downright hard to look at and made me stop, think, and pray for a bit. The description for these photos does a better job than I could. ...we had a little chat. She wasn't too keen on her family seeing her like this. The local TV crews have been sneaking up on the street community, trying to get candid shots - but it's pissing off the street community and making my job harder. Voyeurs and Rubber Neckers - reporting the news - for profit. She likes photog...

With the coming of Winter, and dry-weather season, my fingers become a mess. My cuticles get dry, cracked and hurting and my nails seem to be more brittle or crack more easily.  In the end, my fingers becomes something I don't really want to be showing off to people I've just met and work clients (I'm anal about appearances, who knew?  Well, besides my friend Taylor).  A couple years back I found out that going to a nail salon every two weeks to a month heals up my fingers and feels great.  Of course, I've been letting that slide quite a bit lately, and my fingers are again hurting a bit.  Unfortunately, I don't have much time now to go get my nails done, which takes about 30 to 45 minutes, and I began thinking about how I could probably take the time during lunch some day at work.  Except . . .  There aren't any nail salons within walking distance of work. I have to think that a traveling nail salon would make a ton of business.  Call it som...

Last Sunday our priest talked about something, I don't remember what.  But one example he gave was his water bill for the last quarter.  It was ridiculously high, especially given that he observed a water conservation ban in October ($490).  That's a lot of clean drinking water that other people even somewhat nearby in other states don't have to drink and survive.  He then mentioned one way to conserve water was through taking shorter showers and some other methods which he listed in her sermon text. Being a closet environmentalist, I tend to stay on top of the immense waste humans, and especially Americans, produce.  Water has been high on my list for a long time, and, as weird as it sounds, the fresh water we use is not reused, so we have a limited amount.  I wanted to throw out some ways we waster water which I think very few people recognize. Toilets The Earth Day Network noted that a low-flush toilet uses 5 gallons less water per flush than a r...

I'm in a reviewing/evangelism mood, so I thought I'd mention another program which is so much a part of my daily life I could barely get by without it.  I finally got tired of having to enter my Web passwords into both IE and Firefox, and decided to try out some password management software. While there are a couple of different open source (free) tools out there, none have been as easy to use or have as many options as Siber's RoboForm .  It's been so good we've gotten licenses for my wife and mother-in-law.  Neither of them think they can ever go back to entering passwords, and Erin's mom felt almost helpless when she got a new computer and didn't have her passwords remembered. Essentially RoboForm sits in your Web browser and in your task tray, near the clock.  It remembers all of your passwords, letting you pick one secure password to encrypt all of your information.  It even remembers your windows passwords in most cases.  Whenever you sign-up for...

Every now and then I come across a program that becomes so ingrained in my daily work that I hardly know how I'd get by without it.  I'll probably break down a couple over the next few days, but for database work, I have never found anything as good as Red Gate's SQL Compare and SQL Data Compare .  Essentially these tools let you compare two SQL Server databases (all objects, users, permissions, functions, diagrams, anything) and update changes to whichever database you want.  This is amazingly useful for deploying database changes to a test or production environment (do it to production with ridiculous care, even though it will generate a SQL Script for you and run all updates in one transaction), and making sure everything is synchronized. For releases we can just generate the compare script, confirm that the changes match the updates we want to go out, and store it all in one place with the release details.  This is true for both the structure and the d...

Every now and then I need to take a break from Steve Pavlina's blog, it just opens too many questions and challenges me so much professionally that I need to take a step back and simply exist for a while.  When I come back though, as I recently have, I find so many things which resonate and make me want to just be better . I just came across his You Are Self-Employed post.  In a nutshell: everyone is essentially self-employed and that even if you’re an employee, you should think of yourself as the President of your own personal services corporation.  Call it Your Name, Inc .   This mindset makes a lot of sense.  Even if you seemingly work for someone else, you still work primarily for yourself.  You have your own company with one employee — you — and you’re in the business of selling your employee’s labor for profit. Definitely check out the rest of the article, there are some pretty compelling reasons showi...

Up until about a year ago I always had a hard time getting to sleep.  I'd sometimes lay in bed for hours with my mind running on things I need to do.  A couple of things recently have changed which finally fixed this, and I wanted to share. First, I started getting up at 5 a.m. last December and going to bed when I was tired.  It was hard for the first month, but then I got into the groove, and it was great having an extra 2 hours of free time each morning.  Then I had surgery and haven't gotten back into the swing after recovery.  I wake up at 5:30 or 6, so I have some free time, but nothing like I did.  A benefit though was that I'd head up to bed around 10 or 11, close my eyes, and be out immediately.  It was great, and if you're interested in more details check out Steve Pavlina's How to Become an Early Riser blog entry (also good is How to Wake Up Feeling Totally Alert ), this is the process I followed and it was great. If only other people...

I'm watching Grey's Anatomy , where one of the characters ran into a guy she was interested in in high school.  She becomes a different person, really bubbly and willing to do whatever the guy asks.  Essentially, she realized that she became a blithering idiot. That got me wondering about my own life.  Who could I run into that would make me a blithering idiot? There was a girl I knew who asked me to take her to her prom.  We went there, then to a party at her friends house.  I become so enamored that I'd do almost anything.  I ended up letting her sleep in my lap all night, while I sat there, feeling exhausted but unable to sleep for being so uncomfortable, listening to crummy R&B music.  In college I ran into the same girl and I tell you, that day, I pretty much dropped everything and doted on her all day. There just seem to be people we come across in life that make us forget all our common sense and become blithering idiots. When I me...

Last Friday a few people from church and I went to see Rob Bell speak during his "The God's Aren't Angry" Tour.  Here's how I saw the event. The short answer is that this is an hour and a half long sermon.  An incredibly dynamic sermon.  It was Rob Bell at his finest. The longer answer is that he described where we, as cave men, began to recognize God's for different events, such as a God for the Sun and one for the rain.  That moved into describing the altar and sacrifices.  The inherent problems with sacrifice, when things go well you give more for thanks.  when things go badly, you give more hoping your god will finally be satisfied. That led into a discussion of Christ's sacrifice for us.  That the altar is no longer for sacrifices of dead things, but instead one for us to make a living sacrifice.  He described how that was received in the community. He then went into descriptions of some of the hard problems people have face...

In case you noticed the picture of a steak from my post on eating well, that was a prime rib I purchased at Fleming's, a pretty nice steak place.  In my opinion it's nicer than Morton's, but not as good as Ruth's Chris.  Essentially it's expensive steak, and you pay for the sides. I decided to have the special that night, the 22 ounce prime rib.  To put that into perspective, there's 16 ounces in a pound.  In more perspective, a big hamburger is 1/3 to 1/2 of a pound, 8 ounces.  So, if the picture doesn't really convey, this thing was as big as my forearm. . . And it was delicious . The reason I mention all of that is to talk about portions.  A few years ago I went on a mission trip to Montana, and came back recognizing just how much I eat each meal.  I go away from dinner full, having eaten two or three helpings.  I mainly did that because I like the flavor so much I didn't want to stop.  So, I tried an experiment (as they say in Ses...

In my semi-daily bible reading (getting better thanks to my friend Mason) I came across this line: Listen to me, listen well: Eat only the best, fill yourself with only the finest. Isaiah 55.1-5 The Message Obviously this isn't talking about eating really.  It's really talking about listening to God's word and making it a part of your life.  To be really open, the next line says: Pay attention, come close now, listen carefully to my life-giving, life-nourishing words. Isaiah 55.1-5 The Message Honestly though, I think there is something really important to be said for eating well.  I tend to eat just ok.  Believe it or not, that's a step up from when I worked in DC and went to McDonald's every day for lunch.  No, I'm not kidding, and no, I didn't order the salads much, if at all. Going back even further though, I ate pretty well in high school.  I went vegetarian for a little while, having a lot of Subway veggie subs with melted cheese (I...

Don't tell my wife, but I've begun listening to Christmas Music.  Both the Comedy Christmas Music channel (some awesome stuff there) and the Rock Holiday Station.  I do love Yahoo! Music, but if my wife ever finds out I think she'll kill me for listening (and enjoying) Christmas music a few weeks before Thanksgiving.  Honestly, I'd have listened all year round if I hadn't lost the link to the station in March. Does anyone else out there have some odd, secret desires they indulge in regarding Christmas? Peace, +Tom

Recently Erin's grandfather had to put down his dog Ruffles.  His quality of living just wasn't there anymore.  Anticipating Grandpap visiting for Thanksgiving, without Mister Ruffles, we wanted to let Rachel know what had happened.  Here's how the conversation ensued. Dad: When Great Grandpap comes to visit, Ruffles isn't going to come with him. Rachel: Why not? Mom: Ruffles wasn't able to see or hear very well.  He got confused a lot and had a hard time going potty. Rachel: Like Rika? Dad: Kind of like Rika, but much worse.  So Mr. Ruffles is up in Doggie Heaven. Rachel: Oh.  With Doggie Jesus? I love kids!  Since then Rachel has mentioned Doggie Jesus a couple of time.  I like the idea that Jesus becomes whoever we need him to be at the time we need him. Peace, +Tom

I came across this article, " What we learn from the dying " today and found it pretty interesting.  I figured I'd share, there's definitely some interesting stuff. I'm wondering why my friend David thinks after being in Clinical Pastoral Education (working and pastoring to sick and dying people) for a few weeks. Peace, +Tom

Holy freak of everything.  I just found out Microsoft just bought an ownership stake in Facebook, beating out Google in a bidding war.  I have no idea if this means something good or bad, but it sure is interesting. Here's the article " Source: Microsoft wins Facebook bid battle " from CNet. Ok, while I don't have any idea, truthfully it makes me nervous.  I keep wondering how much life is left in Facebook, and had expected it to be gone (like MySpace ) or completely different in two years.  Now that a large corporation has bought into it, I expect that "completely different" option is off the table.  Large companies just seem unwilling to make huge changes to a product which was successful at one point in time. Sadly, I expect Facebook will be gone, replaced by some other social networking site, within a few years. Peace, +Tom

In my many discussions with people, I get to hear a lot of different opinions on God.  I hear a lot of people asking for explanations to answer the question "what was God thinking?"  I've also heard a lot of answers to that question.  "What is God thinking? Why does he let me hurt? Why did He let that happen?" I recently heard this statement about God and suffering (this is paraphrased). Let's assume you take a completely literal view of the bible.  If you look at Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, God made a mistake with humanity.  He formed us in a way that man has no knowledge and were mindless.  Then man ate of the tree of knowledge after being tempted by the serpent.  After this God saw his mistake in mankind and threw them out of Eden, and put us into a world where he we have problems and are punished for Adam and Eve's transgressions.  We continue to have those punishments today. Hearing something like this ...

Every now and then I get to do some fun stuff with church and flex my imagination to come up with graphics for sermon series we have going on.  Now, in most cases we take a background from a site dedicated to making them, since they have a bunch of people committed to making great graphics.  My favorite by far is PowerPoint Sermons .  They have listened to subscribers and made changes, including some I've specifically requested.  One of the graphics I got from them was this: All I had to do was type in the text I wanted.  It would be great if they had even more backgrounds, but this will always be the site I hit first.  Well, now I'll hit SermonSlides by the same company, since we only use 4 slides a year, and this site lets up pay as you go. In any case, every now and then Rob likes to make up sermon series titles which no one seems to have a graphic for.  Like this one: Deep Shift.  Get the reference?  Remove the "f" and y...

Last Sunday my friend Rob invited me out for a day of fishing in Erie, Pennsylvania.  We headed out at 8 p.m. Sunday, slept in Cranberry, PA for a few hours (fewer hours than I'd hoped, since the fire alarm went off every half hour for an hour, until we pulled the thing off the wall).  At 4 a.m. we met our guide Jim and headed out for the hour and a half drive to Erie, PA.  We started fishing around 6 and didn't stop until 5. No eating or drinking, less time for fishing Rob would say. It was a great trip, and I'd do it again if my wife ever lets me (so far the outlook looks grim on going again until the kids are in college).  Here are the couple of insights I had that day. I caught 14 fish.  They were huge, and it was so much fun.  Whoever said the reason they call it fishing instead of catching never had a guide as good as Jim helping them catch.  Admittedly, the people around us weren't catching nearly as many fish.  Check out the few I got...

I've answered this question in some form or another far more times than I care to count.  Most often it's a question of "why do I need a fancy Web application when I can just build this myself in two days in Access.  I mean, the data's already in Excel."  So I figured I'd post out what I threw together, I know I've missed some points. Overview Microsoft Access is an ideal solution for relatively small datasets and a limited number of users. From the Microsoft Web site: “As a desktop database, Access is well suited for small, departmental applications. These applications may start as one user’s project. For example, an employee realizes that productivity can be increased if a paper-based process is automated with an Access application. Other users in the department recognize that they can take advantage of the application if additional features are added. As more features are added, more employees run the application. As time goes by, more and more Access...

Why is it that when we're in school we write long papers that are only seen by the teacher/professor? I'm currently writing out my personal view of how to teach all the different ages in the church to grow a deeper relationship with God.  It's a paper stating my personal philosophy based on my experience and what I've learned in class.  What I wouldn't give to see what everyone else wrote as well to find things which I might have missed or ideas I hadn't considered. Why do we write papers that are essentially for ourselves and no one else?  How hard would it be to set-up some group which publicly shares the papers written for a class? Peace, +Tom

I've been in a very technical mood as of late.  There's something about starting a new project, putting together a new site, and doing things I've never done before. One of those things was to set up SQL Server 2005 Reporting Services so that we can easily integrate graphs and tables and drill-through reports.  It doesn't hurt that it comes free with SQL Server either.  So I set to installing SQL Server Reporting Services on my Vista laptop and begin developing reports.  Here's what I did and bits of advice. Set Up I previously had Microsoft Internet Information Server (IIS) installed (the hoops I jumped through for installing that are for another time), Visual Studio 2005, SQL Server 2005 Express and SQL Server Express Enterprise Manager. I decided to download SQL Server Express Advanced, which includes a stripped down Reporting Services engine.  I went through the install and . . . Report server wasn't an option for the install.  This was not a good s...

I wanted to follow on from my previous post about things just clicking in our brains and understanding comes.  I know this click phenomena comes into play with relationships and I think that flows into faith and a relationship with God. We spend our whole lives looking for people we can connect with.  When we find that friend we think we can understand, and who understands us, something just clicks.  A bond is formed between us and that other person.  We just understand each-other.  Even after years of being apart it becomes easy to come back together.  when the relationship is severed by one person hurting the other, that hurt may often come not from the deed, but from not being able to understand the actions of this person we thought we knew. The same is true of faith.  People are looking to understand.  They want to understand how this God can let people they love die.  They want to understand how this God can let someone be brutally a...

The way my brain works I often need to think about something for a while, often watching someone else or absorbing a picture before I really understand it.  But, once that understanding comes somehow I'm able to really get what's involved in making it happen and it seems like only serious practice is needed for me to get good at it. More often than not that insight and understanding comes in an instant.  My brain clicks into place and I almost want to shout out "I GET IT!" This morning I was watching a juggler on Sesame Street and as I watched him throw one object up just enough to pull the one in the air out of the way, my brain clicked.  I understand what's involved in juggling.  Not all the details, how gravity is involved, how to juggle chainsaws or anything, but I get juggling. The same was true of programming and computers.  Years and years ago something just clicked.  While college refined this even more to a 0 and 1 level, I understand what's inv...

I thought everyone had heard this by now, but I was in training and a bunch of people never knew the comment. So, here you go, share it wherever you see fit. In a bacon and egg breakfast, the chicken is involved but the pig is committed. Update: Seems a little more explanation may be in order. With a bacon and egg breakfast, the chicken is involved. Her eggs are taken to feed the people. The pig though, he's committed. Instead of taking something he produces, they take him and, uh, put him down, so that people can have their bacon. Peace, +Tom

I just came across this quote: There's no way to explain a miracle . . . For those who don't believe, no explanation is possible.  For those who do, no explanation is necessary. I shouldn't mention the source, but it's Trance from the TV show Andromeda. We spend a lot of time trying to explain miracles.  This quote though, I need to remember. Peace, +Tom

Most of the non-Christians I've met don't believe that the Bible is strictly true.  So why do we always use the Bible as factual evidence to prove the existence of God and Christ? I'm not saying that the Bible shouldn't be used to explain God or how to live.  I do think that it shouldn't be the only thing we use.  Thinking about this more though, I can understand why we do use the bible so much. For anyone who has accepted Christ, the bible is the place to look for answers and refresh our faith.  I do think Christians spend far too little time actually reading the bible.  While we definitely don't need to spout off bible verses at the drop of a hat (the more I'm in seminary the more I see people do this . . . I guess that makes them more faithful than I) we do need to understand what the bible says and try to see how it applies to our life. I talk to a lot of people who what to believe in God, or really do understand that He exists.  At the same time t...

I heard about this a few days ago and the more I read the more I love the idea.  Laptop.org has the simple vision of getting a laptop in the hand of every child in the world.  This is something I began thinking about a couple years ago, that having Internet access all over the world is a necessity for 3rd world countries to survive.  While many people argued that they a roof over their heads and food to eat first, I have to disagree somewhat.  Those things are critical to living.  At the same time, the Internet puts in their hands the ability to learn new ways of farming and building.  These guys have community done better than us Westerners can imagine.  Giving them more information than they've had before can change their world. There was even an Escape Pod podcast story about the impact this can make in Transcendence Express   by Jetse de Vries .  Here a teacher goes to a 3rd world country with her husband and begins introducing comp...

I came across the Which 'Hero' are you? quiz and figured I'd share.  In case you didn't know, there are some TV show's I'm completely addicted with ( Heroes , Battlestar Galactica , Dr. Who , Monk and Psych ).  Heroes is definitely near the top of that list for it's story and character development.  When given the opportunity to find my super power, you know I'll take it. Turns out I fail at getting super powers.  I'm Suresh, who has no discernable super power besides that he gets to talk during the opening and recap events.  I guess I'll have to live with the innate abilities the quiz says I already have.  Here's what it says: Your "power" is in your leadership and your ability to organize those around you.  You may not be able to fly or have incredible strength, but your great knowledge makes you a real superhero. Psh, I wanted to be able to bend time! Peace, +Tom

One of the requests the teens heading off to college was that more than anything they'd like letters.  They want simple notes in their snail mailbox reminding them that people are thinking about them.  So, I figured I'd put something together for those which I have addresses. Here's the problem though.  With Facebook, blogs, blog comments and bi-weekly phone calls, they all know everything that's going on in my life and  I generally know what they're up to as well. So, what do you write about to someone you already contact semi-regularly? When I was in high school a girlfriend of mine went off to camp for most of the Summer.  We wrote letters every few days to each-other.  I keep wondering what in the world we talked about.  Couldn't have been anything incredibly deep, right? So, I'm thinking it's time to remember what it was like to be in high school.  Chat about the minutia of life and any little thing that pops into my head. Oddly, after w...

I was reading the blog of my friend David about Direct Deposit Tithing .  He commented on the prevalence of churches allowing people to auto pay the money to the church (tithe) instead of making them bring a check or cash in an envelope. Before his posts on this I also came across an article about how some churches are installing ATM like machines in the lobby to make giving easier.  That horrified me at first, now I just find it kind of disgusting and annoying. In any case, at St. Matthew's our contemporary service doesn't take a collection.  Instead we do simply leave an offering plate at the back of the church.  We have also considered a way to directly withdraw from someone's account, though the companies we've seen add on some fees which don't really make much sense.  In many cases people who prefer to pay electronically have their banks automatically send a check. As a family we still drop a check in the plate after church.  At the same time though...

In my years at work I have given feedback on many, many different people during their annual assessments (reviews).  I've performed assessments myself and simply given feedback on someone I've worked with.  If I had any one piece of advice for someone giving feedback on a person it would be this: Give me an example For every feedback item I try and give at least one concrete example. A general statement such as, "He leads a team well, but could be better at giving out task assignments" is ok.  But a better statement is, "He leads a team well, but could be better at giving out task assignments.  When I was working with him on XYZ he gave a great picture of what was necessary for the client to consider success.  At the same time I had to go to him and ask what I should be doing or give him suggestions on work I should do based on my understanding of the deliverable." Even if I miss 2 things that the person should improve on, having one concrete example gi...

I came across this proposal video today.  Give it a look, it's worth the 4 minutes (and I hate watching videos from blog posts). I'm incredibly impressed with his commitment to making the most creative, memorable and appropriate wedding proposal.  Looking at the time frames this took weeks.  I thought about my proposal for months, but when all was said and done I think I only really committed a couple of days to making it happen. More than anything though I'm impressed with the thought and perspective needed to make this a reality.  When you look from almost any angle you see something like this: But when you look straight on you see: Sometimes turning around changes everything. Peace, +Tom

No sooner did I begin crafting this post about Bullied student tickled pink by schoolmates' T-shirt campaign than my friend Mark Riddle mentioned it.  Stupid people stealing my thoughts. Thankfully what strikes me is different from what struck Mark. The story is essentially about a kid w ho got bullied for wearing a pink shirt the first day of school.  Two other seniors somehow found out about it and bought 50 pink shirts (tank tops included) to wear to school the next day.  Then they e-mailed their friends to let them know. The next day almost the entire school is in pink.  Either from shirts they bought or some wearing their own pink clothes (from shirts down to shoes).  The principal said: "Definitely it looked like there was a big weight lifted off his shoulders. He went from looking right depressed to being as happy as can be," said Shepherd. It's a heartwarming story and certainly gives you the warm fuzzies.  Here's what really struck me though...

I'm currently taking a class at the local seminary about how to teach.  Our teacher made the following comment. The more a child feels comfortable with the teacher, the more they are going to act out. I guess that's why the older Rachel gets the more she talks back to me. Seriously though, while I'd never heard this before it makes a ton of sense. As I got closer to the teens in youth group, they really began to feel comfortable with me and each-other.  As the new teens come in they are incredibly attentive.  Over time they too sometimes stray off into their own conversations. A lot of this comes from individual maturity.  The older these guys get the more willing they are to sit still and let each-other talk. In any case it has some real repercussions, since I tend to try to connect at a personal level with people.  How do you keep that connection while also commanding respect? I guess that's a question for next class. Peace, +Tom