Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Why I Need to Be President

On this historic day, when our world will no longer be the same, I’m watching the inauguration and noticing a couple of reasons that I absolutely have to be president.

  • So I can ride on helicopters
  • I will leave the inauguration as outgoing president on horseback, just because I can
  • So I can forget what office I’m accepting, just like Obama almost did
  • So my kids can take my picture
  • So I can gossip with the outgoing president with billions watching, and no one will know what I said
  • So I can make millions after I leave office just for talking
  • To be able to see my face blown up on huge posters and that people carry around
  • So that I can sign presidential orders in one second or less with my super fast signature
  • To be able to say, I want carrots, sardines and ranch dressing at 9 p.m. and someone gets it for me
  • To be able to look in the mirror and call myself Mr. President for the rest of my life

So, will you vote for me at the next election?



Anonymous said...

I could vote for you for those reasons. Then I'd pray unceasingly.
Peace to you & yours in this new world we live in. SS

Cindy said...

You know I found out some interesting facts today about the President and the white house. The president and family have to pay for their meals. Now, they get an expense account, so it kinda is a moot point, but they still have to "pay" for them. Wonder if it's like a cafeteria?

Also, there are 4-5 expert chefs in the white house, but they don't cook for the president. They cook for the state dinners and such. Some assistant cooks for the president. And sometimes chefs quit due to what the president likes to eat. Like Clinton wanted southern cooking, and Bush wanted BBQ all day.

If I was president, I'd want Paula Deen as my head chef!

And don't forget the other perk of never making your bed and never doing your laundry. Of course, some maid will be touching your underwear.

And, oh yea, I'd vote for you. And you can run in the next election - you'd be old enough!