Skip to main content


I was putting some dirty dishes into the dish washer this evening and all I could think to myself while I was doing it was "I hope the few dishes in the washer now are dirty."  Because if they were clean then Erin would come home and ask "Why did you put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher?" with that gently curious, yet slightly accusatory tone.  You know, the one which says, "What were you thinking‽"

While I was thinking about this I also realized just how easy it is to question yourself into stagnation.  I could easily have thrown up my hands and decided to just leave the dishes alone.  I'll ask Erin later or, better yet, simply let her take care of it.

I'm finding that people are so worried about offending someone that they quickly decide not to do anything.  Instead of telling Erin that she's irritated me (this is simply an example, she hasn't ever irritated me of course) I would let it go and ignore the problem.  Of course, it will just irritate me more the next time.

This certainly spills over into my church life.

When planning our WATCH program where I'm co-teaching a bible study to teens, I continue to say "whatever you'd prefer" to the person I'm teaching with.  I'm trying to let her really make her own decisions and make the experience her own.

Beyond those platitudes though, the reality is that I'm also trying to make her happy.  I'm trying to let the co-leader make the decisions so that I don't need to. It's always easier to blame the decision maker, and I sure don't want that person to be me.

Those who know me though, know that isn't entirely true.  I will accept blame even when it isn't my fault.  I also feel quite free with almost anyone at church to tell them what I'm thinking when asked.

My point though, is that it's very easy to stop making decisions for fear of upsetting someone impacted by the decision.

The bigger problem though is that by not making decisions we quickly fall into a stupor and never accomplish anything in life beyond watching the latest episode of Doctor Who.



Popular posts from this blog

Advantages and Disadvantages of Using Microsoft Access

I've answered this question in some form or another far more times than I care to count.  Most often it's a question of "why do I need a fancy Web application when I can just build this myself in two days in Access.  I mean, the data's already in Excel."  So I figured I'd post out what I threw together, I know I've missed some points. Overview Microsoft Access is an ideal solution for relatively small datasets and a limited number of users. From the Microsoft Web site: “As a desktop database, Access is well suited for small, departmental applications. These applications may start as one user’s project. For example, an employee realizes that productivity can be increased if a paper-based process is automated with an Access application. Other users in the department recognize that they can take advantage of the application if additional features are added. As more features are added, more employees run the application. As time goes by, more and more Access

Red-Gate SQL Compare

Every now and then I come across a program that becomes so ingrained in my daily work that I hardly know how I'd get by without it.  I'll probably break down a couple over the next few days, but for database work, I have never found anything as good as Red Gate's SQL Compare and SQL Data Compare .  Essentially these tools let you compare two SQL Server databases (all objects, users, permissions, functions, diagrams, anything) and update changes to whichever database you want.  This is amazingly useful for deploying database changes to a test or production environment (do it to production with ridiculous care, even though it will generate a SQL Script for you and run all updates in one transaction), and making sure everything is synchronized. For releases we can just generate the compare script, confirm that the changes match the updates we want to go out, and store it all in one place with the release details.  This is true for both the structure and the data, to

Beryllium Spheres

I'm sitting here at home watching The Shadow , easily one of the best movies made based on one of the best old time radio shows.  I hadn't picked up on this earlier, but the weapon used to destroy the city is none other than the same power source used to power the NSEA Protector in Galaxy Quest . I never knew Beryllium was so cool.  Now I want a sphere of my own. Anyone know of other places Beryllium Spheres are mentioned? Peace, +Tom